Cars jokes - first part
Yesterday I was at the local Wal-Mart. Now I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out, there he was - a damn Motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket …
So, I went to him and said: “Come on Buddy, how about giving a guy a break?”
He simply ignored me and continued writing the ticket.
So, I called him a pencil necked Nazi. He then glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!
So, I called him a sorry excuse for a human being. He then finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started to write a third ticket!
This went on for about 25 minutes … the more I abused and hurled insults at him, the more tickets he wrote …
But hey, I didn’t give a damn. My car was parked around the corner …
2 - Second joke
The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the US auto makers for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black boxes in four-wheel drive pickup trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.
They were surprised to find in 49 of the 50 states the last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were : “Oh, Shit!”
Only the state of Alabama was different, where 89.3 percent of the final words were:
“Hold my beer and watch this!”
3 - Third joke
Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other, “Boy, business sucks. If I don’t sell more cars this month, I’m going to lose my fuc.ing ass!”
Too late - he noticed a beautiful blonde, sitting two stools away. Immediately, he offered apologies for his use of bad language.
“That’s okay,” the blonde replied, “I have a very similar problem … If I don’t sell more ass this month, I’m going to lose my fuc.ing car!”